Distance yourself from people who show these signs…
You are the one who gets to choose who stays and leaves your life. While we are lucky to meet some wonderful people throughout life, we sometimes attract some awful people, too. We all need to filter these toxic persons out of our lives because they disturb our inner peace, balance, and happiness. Here are 9 signs that someone is toxic.
1. They only have time for you when they need something.
This type of relationship brings nothing positive into your life. Good friends make time for each other when they need help from one another, but not solely for that reason. A person who only contacts you when they need something from you isn’t your friend. They take advantage of you, they use you to fulfill some of their needs, without returning the favor. If a person doesn’t want to be part of your life, you shouldn’t force it, or beg them to make time for you. Know your worth and focus on the people who are happy to be by your side.
2. They keep bringing up things from your past.
People who judge you for things that happened decades ago, criticize you for mistakes you made in the past, only to embarrass you and make you feel bad about yourself are not your friends. They try to put you down to feel better about themselves, by constantly reminding you that you aren’t perfect. Listen, if they can’t let go of your past, they don’t belong in your future.
3. They lie.
People who come up with lies and rumors about you, or exaggerate stories about you, to put you under a bad light, are far from being your friends. They do this either to feel better about their miserable lives, or to change other people’s opinions about you, so they can look better in their eyes. Either way, these people are mean and you need to stay away from them.
4. They underestimate you.
They don’t see your true value, and they constantly discourage you, saying you’re not ‘smart enough’, ‘strong enough’, ‘capable enough’. First of all, you don’t need anyone’s validation, as you know your true value. Secondly, if they just assume you’re anything less than you really are, they don’t deserve another second of your precious time.
5. They bring a lot of negativity into your life.
Some only see the negative aspects of people, situations, and life in general. If you have a new idea for a project, they’ll instantly say it’s stupid and it won’t work. They only see your flaws, so they constantly criticize you. They’re never satisfied, and always find something wrong in each situation. You can never fully enjoy any event when they’re around because they keep complaining about all kinds of things. Do yourself a favor and get rid of the negativity, because you won’t be able to be happy around them, ever.
6. They’re excessively jealous.
They are envious of you, not because they admire you, but because you have things they don’t. A little jealousy is natural and healthy, but not when it’s accompanied by gossip, undermining, guilt-tripping, shaming, bullying, and other awful habits. If you feel that you can’t share any of your accomplishments or good news around someone, because they’ll complain, or start pointing to some of your flaws, they are not your friend.
7. They have a passion for starting conflicts.
Some people love to argue. They either contradict you on a matter, just so you can argue with them or start conflicts between you and others, to watch you fight. They love drama, so they tell you all kinds of lies to get you to hate others. These people are truly mean, stay away from them.
8. They try to control you.
The people who always control you treat you like a tool, not a friend. For them, you are like a ‘toy’ they move around for their own delight. They make plans that include you without consulting you, then expect you to join them. They make decisions regarding your life and time, without asking you first, then expect you to comply. They give you unsolicited opinions and advice, and always act as they know better what you should be doing with your life. They get involved without you asking them, just to feel they are in control. These people never change. Once you eliminate them from your life, you’ll feel a lot happier, and they’ll just find another ‘toy’.
9. They manipulate you.
Manipulators act charming until they attract you, and once they’ve got your attention, they begin using you for their own benefit. They ask all kinds of favors, ranging from small to absolutely impossible, and when you start turning them down, they overreact, blame you, make you feel guilty about it, and shame you. They lie a lot, always play the victim, and they’ll treat awfully without remorse. If you feel that someone’s trying to manipulate you, get away from them.